


to shoulder the guilt of the galaxy

by angstlairde



Series: in a kinder galaxy [2]
Category: Star Wars: Battlefront (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Feelings and shit, Guilt, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 10:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13479486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstlairde/pseuds/angstlairde
Summary: “Is it wrong of me to miss Vardos?”...."You feel a lot like home to me."





	to shoulder the guilt of the galaxy

**Author's Note:**

> yet another one and i have no guilt  
> it is less than 1k words and i like posting at least a minimum of 1k on here, but since the content is so limited, no holds are barred for iden/del

Lothal wasn’t green enough.

Iden sat on the window ledge and pressed her forehead to the viewport, trying to suppress a surge of guilt. Logically, she knew she shouldn’t feel like Lothal was her fault, she hadn’t even gone, not like Del. But realistically… she could have - should have - seen the flaws, the decay in the Empire, long before she did. Kriff’s sake, she worked at the heart of it, but she was too blind to see it, too invested in what she had worked for to see it.

All she wanted was the approval of a distant father.

Iden drew her knees up to her chin, curled her bare toes, and shut her eyes. She didn’t know how to deal with her guilt and regret that plagued every day of her life.

She heard Del approaching, near silent footsteps on the durasteel floors that no one but herself would have heard coming. He stopped, a feet meters away, seemed to hesitate, and stayed silent. He stayed for a moment, then turned to walk away.

“Is it wrong of me to miss Vardos?”

Del stopped, and looked at her. Iden opened her eyes, but still stared out at Lothal. He stepped closer and shook his head.

“No, Iden,” he said, soft. “It’s not wrong.”

Iden tilted her head back to look at him, and he looked gentle, soft, like he always did. Del Meeko never looked like a man that could kill a being from eighty meters with a single shot.

“But it is,” she insisted, and Del sat across from her silently. “How can  _I_  miss my planet when there are millions of people out there who  _can’t even go back home?_ ”

Ah. Now he knew what was bothering her.

“Iden,” he said, reaching to touch her knee. “It’s not wrong to miss Vardos. That was your home. Everyone’s entitled to miss their home.”

Iden shook her head and looked back out into space.

“But I could go back,” she said, whispered, hoarsely. “Not like - I  _stood_ on the Death Star, I  _watched_  it blow up Alderaan, and I, I was  _happy_.” 

“You don’t think I feel guilty?” Del asked. “You don’t think I feel undeserving of being able to go back to Coruscant whenever I want? I can go whenever I want, but you can’t. Anyone who lived on Alderaan can’t.”

He said all this unaccusingly, without malice, just… stating facts.

“But… I realized something a while ago. Coruscant isn’t my home anymore. It was the place I was born, but it’s not my  _home_. This -” he gestured at the Corvus. “This is more my home than Coruscant. Iden.”

Del leaned forward and touched her chin lightly. Iden dragged her eyes up to look at him, and her chest clenched at the look on his face.

“It’s not wrong, my love, if you miss Vardos.”

She swallowed around the lump in her throat and tried to blink away the wetness in her eyes. She reached to brush her fingers against his face.

“I’m so sure what I miss,” she whispered. “But… I know the Corvus feels like home… you feel a lot like home to me.”

Del smiled, like he did on Jakku, like he was home, and pulled her into a tight hug. Iden pressed her nose to his well-worn jacket that smelled like ozone, and grease, and ion discharge, and  _home_ , and smiled. 

“Hey,” he said quietly, brushing a hand against the side of her head to get her attention. “Do you want to help me deliver the relief aid?”

Iden nodded. Del always knew what she needed.

“It has been too long since I last set foot on a planet,” she said, pushing her fingers through his hair and kissing him.

“We could stay on Lothal all night if you want,” he offered when she pulled back. “Our next pick-up is on Dantooine in two days.”

Iden smiled wider.

“I think I’d like that. I think the crew could use a break too.”

Del grinned at her, and leaned in for another kiss.

“That sounds like a plan.”


End file.
